Thermal detonators banned as negotiation tool

CORUSCANT – Starting Tuesday, thermal detonators will no longer be a legal means of business negotiation. The handheld devices capable of creating a powerful, localized explosion, has long been a tool of last resort for bounty hunters, gangsters, and stock traders. Simply

Thermal detonators banned as negotiation tool

CORUSCANT – Starting Tuesday, thermal detonators will no longer be a legal means of business negotiation. The handheld devices capable of creating a powerful, localized explosion, has long been a tool of last resort for bounty hunters, gangsters, and stock traders. Simply

“Rancor Whisperer” sees ratings success

TATOOINE – “Exercise, discipline, and the the regular opportunity to kill prisoners as entertainment in a cavernous pit. These are the secrets to a balanced Rancor.” This is the advice of “The Rancor Whisperer,” also known as Malakill, who stars in

“Rancor Whisperer” sees ratings success

TATOOINE – “Exercise, discipline, and the the regular opportunity to kill prisoners as entertainment in a cavernous pit. These are the secrets to a balanced Rancor.” This is the advice of “The Rancor Whisperer,” also known as Malakill, who stars in

Hnkrjjjk wins bantha ‘Best in Show’

BESTINE – In what bantha enthusiasts are calling a major upset, Hnrkjjjk won ‘Best in Show’ in this year’s Bestine Bantha Show.
   Hnrkjjjk’s owner and groomer, Flor Plaato, said the massive beast’s unorthodox fur stylings put him over the top

Hnkrjjjk wins bantha ‘Best in Show’

BESTINE – In what bantha enthusiasts are calling a major upset, Hnrkjjjk won ‘Best in Show’ in this year’s Bestine Bantha Show.
   Hnrkjjjk’s owner and groomer, Flor Plaato, said the massive beast’s unorthodox fur stylings put him over the top

Skiff guards fired, eaten

DUNE SEA – After allowing three captured rebel fighters to escape certain death, three skiff guards were fired moments before they were tossed into a Sarlacc pit and eaten. “Worst. Guards. Ever.” Jabba the Hutt was quoted as saying shorly before

Skiff guards fired, eaten

DUNE SEA – After allowing three captured rebel fighters to escape certain death, three skiff guards were fired moments before they were tossed into a Sarlacc pit and eaten. “Worst. Guards. Ever.” Jabba the Hutt was quoted as saying shorly before

Droopy McCool found dead, overdose likely

MOS EISLEY – Droopy McCool, chidnkalu horn player for the Max Rebo band, was found dead in his hotel room. He was 137 years old. An autopsy is scheduled, but authorities said all signs point to an overdose. McCool battled a

Droopy McCool found dead, overdose likely

MOS EISLEY – Droopy McCool, chidnkalu horn player for the Max Rebo band, was found dead in his hotel room. He was 137 years old. An autopsy is scheduled, but authorities said all signs point to an overdose. McCool battled a

Mouse droids plague Death Star

DEATH STAR – After 25 years of delivery and maintenance service, MSE-6 “mouse” droid populations are soaring on the Death Star. Mouse droids, previously known for their boxy shell and noisy skittering, are quickly gaining a reputation for clogging hallways and droid

Mouse droids plague Death Star

DEATH STAR – After 25 years of delivery and maintenance service, MSE-6 “mouse” droid populations are soaring on the Death Star. Mouse droids, previously known for their boxy shell and noisy skittering, are quickly gaining a reputation for clogging hallways and droid

Blackouts paralyze Tatooine

TATOOINE – Damaged cables and high power demands are causing rolling blackouts across Tatooine this week. With power usage at an all-time high, the Tosche power station is unable to keep up with the demands. Making matters worse, several underground power

Blackouts paralyze Tatooine

TATOOINE – Damaged cables and high power demands are causing rolling blackouts across Tatooine this week. With power usage at an all-time high, the Tosche power station is unable to keep up with the demands. Making matters worse, several underground power

Wookie wins 34th straight dejarik tourney

GHHHK – Dejarik, the holographic game played on a checkerboard with small, realistic creatures as pieces, has been dominated solely by Wookies for the 34th year in a row. This year’s winner, Lumpawaroo, of Kashyyyk, said he plans to spend his winnings

Wookie wins 34th straight dejarik tourney

GHHHK – Dejarik, the holographic game played on a checkerboard with small, realistic creatures as pieces, has been dominated solely by Wookies for the 34th year in a row. This year’s winner, Lumpawaroo, of Kashyyyk, said he plans to spend his winnings

Columbia Sportswear introduces Tauntaun fleece

HOTH – Outdoor enthusiasts –- like those that frequent extreme hiking and skiing climates like those on planet Hoth – can now withstand the cold for up to four extra hours, thanks to the new Columbia brand Tauntaun Fleece Jacket.

Columbia Sportswear introduces Tauntaun fleece

HOTH – Outdoor enthusiasts –- like those that frequent extreme hiking and skiing climates like those on planet Hoth – can now withstand the cold for up to four extra hours, thanks to the new Columbia brand Tauntaun Fleece Jacket.

Jawa sandcrawler fails new emission standards

TATTOINE – The pint-sized droid-selling inhabitants of Tattoine might have more problems on their hands than just sand in their gears. Last Wednesday, new emission standards went into effect across Tattoine, and Jawas are already worried about their ability to keep a

Jawa sandcrawler fails new emission standards

TATTOINE – The pint-sized droid-selling inhabitants of Tattoine might have more problems on their hands than just sand in their gears. Last Wednesday, new emission standards went into effect across Tattoine, and Jawas are already worried about their ability to keep a