TATOOINE – “Exercise, discipline, and the the regular opportunity to kill prisoners as entertainment in a cavernous pit. These are the secrets to a balanced Rancor.”
This is the advice of “The Rancor Whisperer,” also known as Malakill, who stars in his own show on the Galactic Broadcast Network.
Each episode consists of Malakill visiting the homes of Rancor owners and helping the Rancors — usually by helping the owners become the “dominant” one of the house.
“You have to show them who’s boss,” said Malakill. “If they know you’re pack leader, they will follow.”
The show has become an underground hit — and not just among Rancor owners.
“Malakill loves Rancors so much. You can tell he loves his job,” said “Whisperer” fan Fleece Nupsi, 23, of Cloud City. “I don’t own a Rancor but if I ever do I know what to do thanks to his show.”
Despite the show’s success, it has also faced some controversy. Four people who Malakill has helped have later been mauled by their own Rancor.
Malakill thinks it’s just a coincidence.
“The mortality rate of owning a Rancor is 1/10. If anything, we’re saving lives. They’re not nerfs we’re talking about here.”