Skiff guards fired, eaten

DUNE SEA РAfter allowing three captured rebel fighters to escape certain death, three skiff guards were fired moments before they were tossed into a Sarlacc pit and eaten.

“Worst. Guards. Ever.” Jabba the Hutt was quoted as saying shorly before he was strangled to death by one of his dancers.

In addition to letting the insurgents escape, guards Klaatu, Barada and Nikto also allowed a fourth member of the rebellion, Lando Calrissian, to infiltrate the guard ranks and aid in the escape.

“We blew it big time! AHHHHH!” said Nikto as he fell into the Great Pit of Carkoon, residence of the Sarlacc.

Their digestion is expected to take 1,000 years.