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List 8

Here it is.  It's not the longest list, but there are some that make me cringe just the same.  Enjoy.

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12/1/03

teakiyari (10:47:14 AM): would it be ironic if sting were arrested by his former bandmates?

 

12/2/03

(Tim Houck)
Oh, you should listen to my idea for a new movie about the son of a black pop singer and his exploits in the downtown dance clubs. It's called "Baby Seal Clubbing". Siskel called it "A hit!" and Ebert said "It's a knockout!".

 

12/7/03

(andy)
are you familiar with the most popular singer from rivendell? elvish presley

teakiyari (8:18:13 PM): my stupid pet monkey ate the 7th of december off my desk calender. I guess this is a day that will live in chimpanzee

 

12/9/03

(andy?)
have you seen the version of pulp fiction that's all out of focus? it was directed by squintin tarantino.

12/15/03

teakiyari (2:17:05 PM): why are the japanese so crazy
andylangager2 (2:17:58 PM): i dunno
andylangager2 (2:18:02 PM): what did they do now
teakiyari (2:18:10 PM): Ichi the Killer
andylangager2 (2:18:37 PM): does he have an ichi trigger finger
teakiyari (2:18:52 PM): no, but now I do

12/19/03
(Aaron)
Did you hear about the new Andrew Lloyd Weber musical about the perfect vehicle that was destroyed in order to save other vehicles?

 

It's called

 

Jesus Chrysler Supercar

 

1/13/04

andylangager2 (2:54:10 PM): they bust myths and urban legends and stuff but it's mostly two dorky special effects guys blowing stuff up
andylangager2 (2:54:20 PM): in san francisco
teakiyari (2:54:31 PM): say no more, san fran!?!
andylangager2 (2:54:57 PM): of rice and men
teakiyari (2:55:23 PM): you bastard

 

1/14/04

teakiyari (3:07:42 PM): did you see her?
andylangager2 (3:07:59 PM): nope.. dunst didn't check in
teakiyari (3:08:06 PM): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
andylangager2 (3:08:21 PM): martin sheen and rob reiner were there though
teakiyari (3:08:30 PM): yay
andylangager2 (3:08:31 PM): i wanted to go up to martin and say "i've sheen
all your movies"
teakiyari (3:08:37 PM): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
andylangager2 (3:08:47 PM): i'll update about it
andylangager2 (3:10:42 PM): what have you been up to
teakiyari (3:10:59 PM): using the powerbook
teakiyari (3:11:58 PM): learning after effects
andylangager2 (3:12:08 PM): get cork's software?
teakiyari (3:12:24 PM): no, i have a crummy copy
andylangager2 (3:12:37 PM): do you have final cut
teakiyari (3:12:50 PM): 3
teakiyari (3:13:56 PM): i will also be getting soundtrack
andylangager2 (3:14:15 PM): do you have a dvd burner
teakiyari (3:14:24 PM): yes
andylangager2 (3:14:34 PM): dvd studio pro
teakiyari (3:14:40 PM): i wish
andylangager2 (3:15:06 PM): idvd is supposedly getting at least a little better
teakiyari (3:16:47 PM): i gots that
andylangager2 (3:17:43 PM): yesterday at the political thing i should have asked rob reiner to pose for a picture and said "will you stand by me"
teakiyari (3:18:33 PM): GOD DAMMIT WILL YOU STOP

2/4/04

teakiyari (9:18:02 PM): i have a disease that creates cylinder shaped growths on my body that resemble TV's Delta Burke
teakiyari (9:18:11 PM): I have Tube-Burke-ulosis
andylangager2 (9:18:24 PM): erg

2/10/04

sean412 (9:29:23 PM): my big hat is sad.  it's a somber-o
andylangager2 (9:29:51 PM): boo

2/16/04

andylangager2 (7:07:26 PM): i want to open a store that specializes in herbs and clocks.  i'll call it "parsley, sage, rosemary and time"

3/9/04
teakiyari (6:59:26 PM): poor spalding grey
andylangager2 (6:59:45 PM): yeah.  he made the best tennis balls
McWudzy (7:47:25 PM): if smithers asked his dad what a rotting carcass is called, he'd say "carrion, my waylon son..."
andylangager2 (7:51:05 PM): arrrrrg
McWudzy (7:52:58 PM): like the angry sweater i'm wearing?  or is that arrrrgyle
McWudzy (7:53:34 PM): with every pun, my soul dies more

3/22/04
(john)
Kathleen was making a deep dish apple pie. After she put it in the oven, she said she wasn't sure if it would turn out good.
I told her: "If at first you don't succeed, pie, pie again."

3/24/04
andylangager2 (6:36:43 PM): is a flat bread that sounds like it tastes considered onimonipita?

3/28/04
(Andy)
i'm writing a screenplay about a guy who can't sleep because he lost his flock.  it's called Sheepless in Seattle.

it's going to be directed by Nora Ephram.

4/1/04
andylangager2 (2:19:47 PM): i'm going to start a hip-hop coffee shop called rappuccino
teakiyari (2:20:29 PM): that's funny you mention that because I'm going to kill you

4/5/04
(andy)
i wanted to play the new lord of the rings arcade game at the mall but i didn't have enough tolkiens

4/6/04
aaron:  what movie are you watching in film history tonight
andy:  easy rider.
aaron:  are you fonda that movie?

4/8/04
McWudzy (9:28:43 PM): i've invented an indifferent long-lasting lightbulb.  i'm gonna call it the "Wattever"
McWudzy (9:52:54 PM): watts a-matter?  hertz got yer tongue?

5/2/04
teakiyari (6:24:44 PM): my sister really liked Mean Girls
andylangager2 (6:29:45 PM): really?
teakiyari (6:30:07 PM): yup, said it was way better than the previews
andylangager2 (6:30:22 PM): huh
andylangager2 (6:30:58 PM): tickets cost a lot.  would have to take out a lohan
teakiyari (6:31:21 PM): i want to punch you in the duff

5/15/04
teakiyari (6:19:10 PM): I think you, aaron, and a star of sesame street should review movies together. You can call it "Siskow Andy Bert"
andylangager2 (6:20:23 PM): that makes the list cry
teakiyari (6:20:51 PM): tears of joy?
andylangager2 (6:20:57 PM): no
teakiyari (6:21:15 PM): oh, so it's tears of laughter then
andylangager2 (6:21:39 PM): no it was just from slicing an onion
teakiyari (6:21:55 PM): you mean a punion?
andylangager2 (6:22:19 PM): arrrrg

5/17/04
I was reading a mediocre article about Tenacious D when I was in Ames this past weekend  It was kind of disappointing to be reading something so average, especially since I used to work there.  But then I got to thinking, "This is not the greatest newspaper in the world.  This is just the Tribune."

6/2/04
(Aaron)
one word to describe Vin Diesel's new movie:


Riddickulous

(Sean)
I'm breakin' all the rules and going to see it the day after tomorrow.  We s'hidalgo.  Bring your women-- I mean girls.

6/3/04
(Aaron)
Corcoran--


I Envy you for the reply incorporating almost every movie out right now -- the Hidalgo pun, I didn't think anyone would even Troy that.  I thought of your e-mail this morning in my car -- I had just gotten off county highway 13 Going on 30 east toward Ames, south of Dogville.  My wife insisted I take the car because it has a radio (She's always telling people, "I won't ride with him unless it's in the Honda.  If he drives the Van, Helsing.").  I just can't help it.  When I hear Billy Ocean I'm a Man on Fire.


I sincerely apologize to all who suffered through this barrage of forced-out puns.  It should earn some Super Sighs.


--Me

copyright 2003 andy langager